I’m going to give you some advice that I wish I was told a few years ago, in fact it’s something I wish I hear more often. For the past 3-4 years, the start of a new year sends me into some sort of frenzied panic. I don’t really want to repeat myself, because it’s something I don’t feel entirely comfortable talking about still, but you might remember this post I wrote back in June. It’s the first time I’ve been so open regarding my problem and, despite what I said there, I wasn’t completely ED free. I’m still not and I still have days, brief moments even, where I get giddy about it. But that’s okay, it’s okay that I recognise it and I’m quick to erase it out of my mind and I can proudly say that the stupid voice I used to listen to is getting quieter and quieter, almost a whisper now.
However, every time January rolls around I can fell myself starting to fret about it again. Shall I tell you why? I’m going to but it’s more than likely you know what it is already, because thousands of women (and men) begin to feel the pressure being put on them to resume being ‘perfect’ after ‘pigging out’ after the festive period. Already I’ve seen posts online, articles in popular magazines, even fellow bloggers, posting about dieting and detoxing. I’ve even seen numerous girls on Instagram having a complete meltdown because they ate one too many Celebrations. If you are one of those people then I’m not going to patronise you, because that has been me for the last 3 Christmases. Except this one. I’ve pushed and pushed myself and whenever I’ve felt scared or frightened of overeating, or even eating things I wouldn’t usually, I’ve eaten more because the only way I can overcome the fear is to face it, nose to nose. I’m not going to patronise you, but I am going to tell you to man it up a little because it is just a few chocolates, it’s just food and food is there to fuel you, food is there for you to enjoy because what’s the point in living if you can’t enjoy it.
In one year I have gone from being my worst, mentally and physically, to my best. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like my best, but I’m now at a healthy weight and 99% of the time, a healthy mind too. Numbers on a scale are just that, they’re numbers and they do not define you. I may have been two stone lighter at the start of the year but now I can laugh, I can concentrate when people are talking to me instead of internally worrying about what I look like, my hair is one thousand times more healthy, my bones don’t stick out, I don’t lock myself in my room, I don’t worry about my next meal time but I look forward to it (like you should!) and I eat so much sugar that chocolate has now become a whole new food group.
So please, I almost beg you, not to crumble from the pressure that society and other people impose on us. So you want to lose a few pounds to make yourself feel fresher, feel like you again, and that is 100% okay. Go ahead. But don’t for one second think you that you NEED to diet, you don’t NEED to not eat food that is somewhat ‘bad’ for you, you NEED to skip meals, not enjoy your weekend takeaway, or force yourself to exercise because media is telling us to. You don’t need any of this, because you are all perfect the way you are. I hope you all have a fantastic evening, and that tomorrow is just another day, no biggie. And remember, last of all, that life is more exciting with a pizza in it.
- 125g butter
- 150g of chocolate, I used Triple Chocolate Wham Bam, broken
- 250g leftover panettone or something similar, chopped
- 100g rich tea biscuits, chopped
- 3 tablespoons rum, or brandy
- 4-5 marshmallows, chopped (or a handful of mini ones)
1) Line a cake tine with parchment paper.
2) In a heatproof bowl over simming water, melt the butter and chocolate together until combined. Remove from the heat and set aside.
3) In a large bowl, combine panettone, biscuits, marshmallows and rum. Stir in the melted chocolate and make sure everything is evenly coated.
4) Scrape into the cake tin and refrigerate for at least 3 hours before slicing and tucking it.
This is a bit of a messy recipe, nothing too fancy, but it uses up leftovers and you can put in pretty much most things. Experiment and enjoy!